Obituary

Karen was not a person but a species: a name that became a noun, then a diagnosis, then a uniform (the haircut), then a meme, then a legal defense. She was the customer who demanded the manager, called the police on a birdwatcher, and accused a lemonade stand of being a cartel. She reached peak power in 2020, when the phrase 'I'm calling the police' became the most dangerous sentence in America. She died in 2021, not because she went away, but because the word became so broad it lost its edge — everyone's aunt was a Karen, so nobody was. She is survived by every group chat she ever ruined.

Born

2019

Died

2021

Cause of death

Died of asking for the manager

Last sighting

A Target customer service desk, 2021

Resting place

Section C, Row 6

Category

text